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  • Writer's pictureMorgan Fagg

BAT-Hombre

Updated: Sep 24, 2019

Shadow over WASHINGTON D.C.

COMIC CON D.C. Thanks to Gothamite Lance Tooks for this Bat Hombre comic book look.

More comical and colourful than the District of Columbia. I call this D.C. Comics character

Bat-Hombre. By day he is an aggressive, hateful sounding billionaire, hellbent on destroying Gotham City.


But by night, this president oh yeah for some suspicious reason he won more votes in some states and became president of America despite never running for any political office before he became president.

Bat-Hombre, goes by the name of @RealDonaldTrump during the day and is joined in his shady property deals by his treaSON-in-law, Middle East Peacemaker, Boy Wonder Jared Kushner. Holy Crap.


Unknown to Jared, he is married to Bat-daughter who Bat-Hombre really wants to BANG, as he once stated in an interview,

"If she was't my daughter, I'd be dating her."


When things are bad and you can't turn to the police or city hall, maybe its time to trust in the guy with three wives, to keep his promise to you, “the people”

A man so unprecedented, he appears to write a speech from his mancave and Winter White House, clearly while watching Batman, Dark Knight Rises on TV.

His inauguration speech sounding eerily like Bane's Gotham City address and Gotham City is of course another name for New York and Gothamites another name for New Yorkers.



Like any easily distracted, leader of the free world, Mr Trump is joined by a rogues gallery of men and well mostly men trying to destroy the world but like George Clooney´s Batman, Donald Trump has to battle against Arnold Schwarzenegger's character.

This time the Govenator has been sent back in time to defend the planet from Bat-Hombre´s dangerous environmental policies.


YES, I repeat, for those who remember the horrible 1997 Batman film and cringe when they think of Arnie as Dr Victor Freeze. Chill.


Come with Arnold Schwarzenegger if you want to live. The only man who can save Republicans, Ironic of course that he is an immigrant.

Trump man is joined by Kelly Anne Conjob as the Alternator, who uses the White House to sell Wayne Industries products, there, "I´m going to give them a free ad", buy Bat Daughter´s products.


There is the twitler, who writes non-sensical messages for people to interpret also known as Trump Two-Face.

Bat-Hombre has the physic of the Penguin whose diet probably consists of everything except fish.


Unlike Marvel´s the X-Men, a team of gifted men and women who try to combat racial hatred against mutants, Trump University doesn't really focus on educatoun never mind spelling.


Bat-Hombre also assembles a group of people, predominately male and homophobic.


Trump even attacks transgendered Ex-men and the bathrooms they use from his very own Bathcave. Firing 15,000 soldiers in a tweet.


Trump Two-Face who believes in abortion yet is against it, depending what way he thinks the coin toss goes is joined by Doctor Strange, a black brain surgeon whose brain is quite possibly spinning around in a hamster wheel after a bizarre surgery from the film "Get Out."


Professor Xavier´s gifted students include many who never filed lawsuits against his university for false claims and Professor X spends time with the actual students. Xavier signs his name with an X but not because he has problems spelling first names like V Putin.


Bat-Hombre tries tireless to Grab the Queen´s jewels but strange to see the man from Queens unable to get an invitation to a royal wedding when both George Clooney and actor Tom Hardy were invited meaning that when it comes to having a Reality President, in the real world, Royals would bizarrely rather invite Batman and Bane to their big bash.


Whenever there is injustice,

Bat-Hombre will be there.

Whenever there is hatred or racism,

he will be there.

Whenever a country is sold out for a quick buck, he will be there.


Joking about his connections with Batmen, comedian Trevor Noah pointed out that Trump hired a man who helped finance the Lego Batman film and I am not the first person to make fun of Washington D.C. of course as Mark Hamill who played Luke Skywalker in Star Wars has turned to the dark side to read Donald Trump's Tweets in the voice of his cartoon character The Joker.


Stranger still Chistian Bale has gone onto play Vice President, Dick Cheeney with some wondering if the method actor killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqis to prepare for the role and the Batman actor has confessed to meeting Gothamite Billionaire, Donald J Trump on set who seemed to think Cristian Bale actually was, Bruce Wayne.


I presume the English actor was joking of course but I really don't know.

As unprecedented as it might seem to link the White House to D.C. Comics' crazy characters, Cat Woman attacked the First Lady in the White House.


Well when I say attack, kitty merely brought the administration down to earth when actress Eartha Kitt who played Cat Woman commented at a White House luncheon on January 18 1968:


“You send the best of this country off to be shot and maimed. They rebel in the street. They will take pot … and they will get high. They don’t want to go to school because they’re going to be snatched off from their mothers to be shot in Vietnam.”


Apparently, the First Lady was shocked and President Johnson asked the C.I.A. to keep tracks on Cat Woman.


50 years after the incident, The Washington Post reported the story, see the link here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2018/01/19/sex-kitten-vs-first-lady-eartha-kitt-yells-at-lady-bird-johnson-about-vietnam/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.fe3984464ad4

I'm not sure how this cartoon character-cum-president is going to destroy the place but I fear unlike the D.C. comics version of bad hombres in Batman, the environmental impact will be felt far from his hometown of Gotham City and even Dr Victor Freeze, The Terminator, Mr Universe and the former Govenator of California will be unable to save us.

Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger in my opinion is the only Republican who can save The Republican Party as former Republican presidential candidate and Vietnam War P.O.W. (Prisoner of War) John McCain has passed away.


Senator McCain spoke out against some of Trump's despicable acts and fought the good fight against him and cancer until the very end.


Bang P.O.W. Trump, how many more cartoonish references do we need before people realise that this Joker and Covfefe riddler is not the Gotham City billionaire that people were looking for to fight crime in Washington DC?


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