The Bear, the Witch and my Wardrobe

Updated: Oct 31, 2020

Surprising adventures in disguise

It's all Hallows' eve soon, a scary time when I have to choose what the hell to wear. I have won two Best Dressed Awards in my life, one for Halloween and one for a Dragon Boat race where I was dressed as a pirate on the River Shannon and to my surprise, there was a Best Dressed prize.

I will dress up at any possible excuse which might explain why I was asked to be the Madrid Harps' mascot. Even dressed as a bear, I will try mix things up a little with Morgybear wearing a santa hat or wearing another team's jersey.

Captain Morgan has made a few appearances in bars in Athlone, on the River Shannon and even sailing the Mediterranean where a patch and skull cap made everyone smile.

I don't have captain's licence unlike some of my friends but I am full of rum so Morgan Spice has made a few heroic appearances over the years.

A friend with zombie contact lens was possibly drugged one night in Athlone, leaving me to carry my friend from the nightclub, like I was Kevin Costner in the Bodyguard, if Costner was dressed as a pirate.

The ambulance crew had a scary time checking my friend's vitals. I had to reassure them that she was wearing bloodshot Zombie contacts when they looked at her eyes

She was fine but it wasn't the first time Captain Morgybear had to leap into action.

In 2003, a friend was organising a charity event in Scribes Bar to fundraise for disadvantaged kids to visit Dublin Zoo. He was in a panic and had nothing organised.

I told him to shut up and have some coffee with me. At the college canteen I talked lecturers and staff out of €110 when they went to the coffee machine. Feeling like a Superhero, I drove to Athlone Joke Shop and picked out my costume and seeing that it was a fundraising event for Dublin Zoo, Morgybear was born. That's my superhero backstory.

Fast forward to Halloween the following year and Morgybear reappeared but the costume was quickly removed when Eoin Kiveney was driving into town and we saw some Rugby players pick up a petite girl and drag her into the bushes by Valley Court's phone boxes.

Sheriff Kiveney stripped out of the large lawman suit and I took off my bear costume after driving around to where the laneway ends. While it might be better to jump out of the bushes dressed as a bear, in the end the group all appeared together with the girl on top of her boyfriend's shoulders.

GETTING AROUND:

Just like Al Pacino in The Devil's Advocate, I have got a few looks on the Metro and when I arrived at my hostel without the devil's outfit, a concerned receptionist started asking me what had happened as I was covered in blood.

BEST DRESSED:

Karma nightclub had organised a massive

Make-a-Wish charity event in 2005 and I was attending the event for the Athlone Voice newspaper. The Oscars themed ball was rumoured to be attended by Colin Farrell who was attending the same event in Karma Galway but I certainly wanted to make an impression. Dressed in a creme coloured suit and black shirt, I thought I was a contender for Best Dressed but the award went to a friend who was drinking with the celebrity judge beforehand.

At least I got to meet Miss Ireland.

UNLUCKY that time, I did win Best Dressed at a Dragon Boat event when I returned to Athlone from living in Dublin. I had a pirate costume sticking out from my boxes and belongings and decided to wear it to the event.

I wore the costume just for fun and later found out while talking to Timmy from Sean's Bar, that there was a Best Dressed category that had not been promoted.

My first year in college also saw an award when a few friends spent a small fortune on costumes whereas I had put on a wetsuit and dressed as a drunken diver.

Goldsmiths' Tavern appreciated the homemade effort and so did some of Athlone Sub Aqua members who I met out that night. One girl loved the costume so much and wanted to take me home but fearing the walk of shame in a freaking wetsuit, I had to decline her naughty invitation. In my last year in college, after many costume changes and shenanigans, I dressed as Julius Cesar for Halloween so I guess I was asking to be stabbed in the back.

One year in Spain, I overheard some friends talking about a Hollywood party and I suggested James Bond as one friend had an Aston Martin DB9, they laughed as they had said Halloween party and not Hollywood but since you don't need a scary costume for Halloween, I still suggested Bond James Bond.

My friend agreed to give me the car as a costume prop thinking it was ridiculous to dress as Bond for Halloween. The joke would have been on me as I stood out of the Bond car but that party never happened. So used to having a hook for a hand, Captain Morgan would have loved to have stepped out as Commander Bond for a change.

There is a cape shop near my house where Michael Jackson and Hillary Clinton have both bought clothes but I prefer less exclusive capes and clothes and buy mine in the Chinese shop on the corner.