Morgan Fagg
- Sep 2, 2019
- 4 min read

NUKE-NADO

I read the AIXIOUS article online and thought what the fuck, what the actual fuck?

Like most people I tried to apply some common sense and see if it was some kind of satire and no alarm bells rang out. Yes the website was unknown to me and I had never heard of them but all the links around the piece seemed to be legitimate articles and not satirical pieces.

This was not The Onion and had two bylines dated August 26th, for Jonathan Swan and Margaret Talev and clicking on Swan's byline brought you to a brief profile about him and included a photo

whereas Talev's byline didn't even lead to her previous articles.

Trying not to BLOW THINGS out of proportions I thought, hmmmm and closed my laptop and thought I better not say anything until I hear this repeated from known sources and reminded myself that the article references senior Whitehouse staff without ever naming anyone so the story didn’t exactly pass the smell test.

What I mean is, this Whitehouse leaks more than Wikiwhatstheirname.com and you don’t have to go to the Ecuadorian Embassy to find out some of the crazy things that goes on with President "Cheeseburgers in Bed" as we learnt from Michael Wolff’s book Fire and Fury, Inside the Trump Whitehouse where so many staffers were happy to sink ships with their loose lips.

AIXOS.com in their article said that Trump on two occasions had asked staff about (A.) Nuking Hurricanes and (B.) Bombing a Hurricane (with no specification on the type of bomb to be used but nuclear being the presumed option.)

On both occasions the president was fobbed off with the we’ll look into that response but again this news story hasn’t been confirmed by the likes of Steve “Genocide” Miller, Sarah Slanders or his 30th Press Secretary, Stephanie "I just drank a fifth of vodka you dare me to drive" Grisham, nor Mike “Judge me less than I judge you” Pence or Melania “I don’t care do you?” “Meet the parents” Kraus Trump or Ivanka “Bring your daughter to work” Trump.

All we know is that Trump has called it, “Fake News” which to me is a good indicator that there might be some truth in the story unlike his crowd size claims. Oh and before you judge his crowd size, please remember that it is really cold in January.

So can nukes destroy tornados?

Strange no one tried that theory when they were nuking everything else. They conducted 911 tests in Nevada alone which is reason alone to call 911 and say that is as bad as 911.

Thousands of tests and I mean thousands of tests were conducted on nuclear weapons. In one instance, an island was vaporised. Troops were nuked, ships were nuked and housing communities of Crash Test Dummies were nuked.

You name it, they nuked it or something that looked like it anyways. Wooden structures, concrete buildings, military jeeps, military personal. They even nuked an aircraft carrier as I have previously discussed in an article about Top Gun.

What I know about nuclear weapons and their fall-out is that they contain enough harmful radiation to damage Homer Simpson’s sperm count and almost enough to create a Hulk or Godzilla type monster.

Arguable I like President Trump, have watched enough tv to make our brains’ numb.

A nuclear bomb could disrupt a hurricane in theory and I mean, tv theory not any real scientific theory but it could equally just create a radioactive filled tornado and what if that same tornado was travelling over shark infested water?

Dare I suggest we could quickly but not realistically find ourselves with a Sharknado?

Sharnados are not unheard of and have been keeping the cast of 90210 alive for sometime now.

David Hasselhoff has even gone from knocking down the Berlin Wall to fighting sharks in space.

More over the Cuban President, Mark Cuban had to fight off sharks in the Whitehouse as Anne Coulter watched on.

Mark Cuban the famous billionaire host of Shark Tank, (Like Dragons’ Den) starred in Sharknado 3 as the producers thought that the newly elected Donald Trump would have been far too busy to play the cameo part but sadly this only hurt Donald’s feelings as he really wanted to play the president on tv too.

Stay tuned as Donald Trump teams up with Dr “Freaking” Evil to create his own nuclear powered sharknado thing.

So I held out without comment on the stupid Nukenado comments when all off a sudden, I started to see on CNN, the very next morning a nuking tornado article mentioned in the banner text.

The story was confirmed as being a credible story worth sharing with the world when all of a sudden I read the HILLIARious tweet from former Secretary of “a Kenyan” State, Hillary Rodnam “Don’t mention Bill” Clinton who simply tweeted. “We should not nuke hurricanes.”

Simple and elegant but was twitted around the same time that Donald “Finger on the Button” Trump was trying to convince the G7 Summit that Iran should never get hold of a nuclear weapon.

That’s right, the man with the Nukenado plan is telling Iran not to look for nuclear power.

What is the worst they are going to do with it? Nuke a hurricane on it’s way to Mar-A-Largo?