STig Patrick

Updated: Jun 13, 2019

Submitted to Top Gear Magazine

Some say his Alfa Romeo never breaks down.
Some say that he had his own 12 disciples but they always met on Tuesdays, anonymously.
Some say that he put the shamrock on Aer Lingus because he hates flying Ryanair and that he banished snakes from Ireland after watching a Samuel L Jackson film.
Some say he introduced Iron Man to Guinness and Chuck Norris to beards and the Terminator to red eyes.
Some say he introduced the Irish to Coffee.
Some say he gave his pirate captures rum.
Some say he came up with the sin of eating meat on Fridays because eating is cheating.
Some say that he built a bar outside of Ireland but he could never remember which one.
Some say the he banished Unicorns, Triceratops, Iguanas, Leprechauns and smoking in bars.
Some say he invented the world’s first stealth submarine and it is yet to be discovered.
Some say that if he was an Irish Banker, there would be more money than bank holidays.
Some say he introduced the army to green.
Some say he drinks green tea with milk.
Some say he wanted to play for Ireland but his grandmother wasn’t Irish.